The Price Leaders Pay for Silence
If you want a team that doesn’t need your encouragement, get a cat.
Have you ever heard a supervisor say something like, “Why should I have to encourage people? This is their job isn’t it?” Have you ever thought those words yourself?
Recently, I received an incredibly strong answer to this question from Jennifer, a former store manager at a national women’s clothing chain.
Jennifer is outgoing, incredibly gifted at making customers feel comfortable and was considered a “high-potential” by her district and regional managers. Within a year, however, she had quit.
A few months later, she ran into her district manager at a coffee shop. As they talked, the district manager expressed surprise that Jennifer had left. “You were one of the most talented, capable managers we had. You had so much to offer and you left. Do you mind if I ask why?”
Jennifer told me, “It took me a few moments to recover from the shock . . . the district manager had never shared any of those positives with me. I got a weekly, sometimes daily, breakdown of where I wasn’t good enough – and that was it.”
Jennifer told her former district manager, “I thought I was failing. I’m shocked to hear that I was doing anything right. I wish you had told me I was talented or capable at the time.”
Why Encourage People for Just Doing Their Job?
That depends. How important is it to you to keep your top performers? How much lost talent, energy and productivity will a lack of encouragement cost you?
Human beings need encouragement. It’s a fact of life. You get more of what you encourage or celebrate and less of what you criticize or ignore. If you want a team that doesn’t need to be encouraged, get a cat. Otherwise, if you’re working with people, they need encouragement.
If you’re married, imagine what would happen if, after your wedding, you never said “I love you” or never held hands or kissed the other person. You couldn’t expect your relationship to last very long.
That’s the equivalent of never saying “thank you” or encouraging your team members. Yes, it’s their job in as much as they’ve made a commitment to your organization – just like spouses make a promise to commit to one another. That doesn’t mean you should take that commitment or your team’s work for granted.
3 Keys to Effective Encouragement
Recently, when I shared Jennifer’s story, an audience member asked, “How do I encourage people? I understand the concept, but struggle to do it well.” Effective encouragement requires three things:
- Avoid “great job!” Instead, try something like “I really appreciate the extra effort you put in on that project last Tuesday. The client loved the work and renewed their account.”
- Encourage people in ways that are meaningful to them. The easiest way to find out is to ask. When you onboard people into your team, ask them, “How do you like to receive recognition for a job well done?”
- Make sure your encouragement is related to the work and business outcomes. It demoralizes everyone when you encourage someone for something that actually detracts from the team.
Thank you for your commitment to leading well. Remember, you get more of what you encourage and celebrate. Everyone needs encouragement – they just need it in ways that are meaningful to them.
David M. Dye is the founder and president of Trailblaze, Inc, a Denver-based leadership coaching, consulting and training business.