Some are claiming a conspiracy exists that fudges President Donald Trump's height-to-weight ratio in order to keep the president from being classified as "obese" in the Body Mass Index measurement. Conan O'Brien joked that Trump is definitely American if he's gaining weight and lying about it, while Late Show's Stephen Colbert made a joke about a recent insider comment the White House being "feckless."
While the House passed a stopgap spending measure on Thursday evening, but a shutdown is still possible if the Senate does not pass the bill. The fight over funding for DACA, CHIP and Trump's border wall program is full of infighting within the Republican party and opposition from the Democrats including Rep. Nancy Pelosi, who said the House plan was sold like someone "giving you a bowl of doggy doo, put a cherry on top and call it a chocolate sundae." Colbert showed video of Trump's 2017 interview with Maria Bartiromo and joked that Trump would liken Pelosi's sundae to "the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake." Jimmy Kimmel acted out a comedy scene metaphor with a barista selling him a cappuccino… with a special gift of horse excrement. When Kimmel refused the special gift, the barista shut down the entire coffee cart, explaining the shutdown negotiations with humor.