Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke and U.S. Park Police officers.

Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke and U.S. Park Police officers. Interior Department photo

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The Interior Secretary Went to Work on Horseback. Here’s How Other Cabinet Secretaries Should Commute

Some unsolicited advice on appropriate travel options.

Newly confirmed Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke arrived at work in novel fashion Thursday: astride a horse. Flanked by mounted U.S. Park Police officers, the cowboy-hatted Zinke rode through the streets of Washington like he was back home in Montana.

This got me thinking: Outside of Zinke, Cabinet secretaries have shown a distinct lack of imagination when it comes to how they commute. So here are some unsolicited suggestions:

  • State: In a horse-drawn carriage, with footmen
  • Treasury: By armored truck
  • Justice: In a police cruiser
  • Agriculture: Riding atop a tractor (it wouldn’t be the first time someone took to the streets of D.C. in one)
  • Commerce: Via Uber or Lyft
  • Labor: On the subway, like a regular working stiff
  • Defense: Driving a tank (while making sure to avoid the Mike Dukakis look)
  • Health and Human Services: In the back of an ambulance
  • Housing and Urban Development: By using Bikeshare
  • Transportation: Gotta use ‘em all: plane, train, and automobile
  • Energy: Via solar-powered car
  • Education: On a school bus, of course
  • Veterans Affairs: In an official Veterans Transportation Service vehicle
  • Homeland Security: In a helicopter (preferably black)