Comedy Central

Play of the Day: How the GOP Woos Donors

All the Republican presidential candidates want to the equivalent of winning <em>The Bachelor.</em>

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul brings Rupert Murdoch on a date to the Kentucky Derby. But Stephen Colbert warns against getting too cozy with the wealthy media mogul: there are a plethora of other presidential hopefuls vying for the man's heart (and money). The competition is sure to be just as fierce as a season of The Bachelor.

Plus: Hillary Clinton has a guilty pleasure she's sure to need on the road to 2016, the NSA has a job opening, and banks aren't responsible for anything (or so their court settlements claim).