A few people might be the tiniest bit upset that the United States has averted a military strike on Syria. But Jon Stewart remains skeptical that the armed option will ever be "off the table."
Plus, The Colbert Report wishes a happy five-year anniversary to America's financial crisis. Stephen celebrates by letting us eat cake.
And in today's celebrity news, Cher turns down a performance at an unlikely event: Russia's 2014 Sochi Olympics.