DHS, USDA and the Montauk Monster

The folks at the Plum Island Animal Disease Center, which is operated by the Homeland Security Department and includes researchers from the Agriculture Department, boast that they're "proud of our role as America's first line of defense against foreign animal diseases," and that they're "equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island."

Oh really? Well how about a full-fledged animal? Say, maybe, a freakish monster? That's the question managers at the facility have been forced to address since last week, when Gawker began publishing updates on the "Montauk Monster," a weird-looking creature that washed ashore on Long Island not far from the Plum Island facility. (Here's a picture of it.)

As a media frenzy began to build, Plum Island's director, Larry Barrett, insisted that his facility had nothing to do with, well, whatever the thing is. In a statement issued last Thursday, Barnett said:

It is impossible to accurately identify the species of animal from the photo. There is no scale from which to judge its size. Additionally, when a body has had prolonged exposure to water and predators, it can be altered or appear different from its normal form. If we had the actual body, we could tell you what it is; however, from viewing a canine tooth in the picture, we could guess it may be a cat or raccoon. I can state categorically that it is not associated with the work performed at Plum Island Animal Disease Center.

As of yesterday, Barnett's guess had changed a little. In a slightly different statement, he went with "dog or raccoon" as the possibilities.

Oh, well that clears everything up.

Meanwhile, rampant speculation in the blogosphere has centered on everything from a pig to a vole to, of course, the spawn of Satan. My money's on a chupacabra.