How I Learned to Stop Judging Myself

• By Scott Eblin
• April 29, 2013
• comments

The best coaching question I was ever asked was about 15 years ago when a woman who was coaching me while I was a corporate VP asked, “What would it take for you to stop judging yourself?”

That question hit me like a ton of bricks because it cut to the quick of my perfectionism and feeling like I never measured up to my own expectations. I’d like to be able to report that I was immediately transformed by the question and it was all sunshine and roses from there.  That wasn’t the case, but, by raising the question, my coach succinctly framed something for me to work on for the next fifteen years.

Last week, during a yoga class, I realized that I still have opportunities here. You could say that I have a way to go before I perfect not being a perfectionist. Guessing that I may not be the only person reading (or writing) this post who’s a perfectionist, here’s an update on how I’m doing and what I’m noticing.  There might be a point or two here that will resonate with you.

So, as I’ve written here several times ...

3 Ways to Know What You Need to Know

• By Scott Eblin
• April 25, 2013
• comments

A big part of my job as a coach is delivering colleague feedback summaries to my executive coaching clients. Sometimes the feedback is hard for them to hear. I have sympathy for them. I was once a corporate executive and, in one particular case, got some blistering 360 feedback that had me licking my wounds for a month or two before I finally gathered up the gumption to act on it.

My own experience with tough feedback makes it relatively easy for me to ask my clients having the same experience, “Would you rather know or not know?” The best leaders would rather know. They understand that you can’t fix it if you don’t know about it.

Top people often don’t get to hear what they need to hear. For valid or imaginary reasons, the people in their organization often are afraid to share tough or bad news so they hold back on speaking the truth or spin it when they do. The result is problems that could have been avoided or corrected, disengagement and clueless leaders.

To be an effective leader, you have to choose to know. Here are three ways to make sure you get ...

Presence in Boston When It Mattered Most

• By Scott Eblin
• April 22, 2013
• comments

What a week it was for the city of Boston. It’s hard to believe that the citizens there went from the attack at the Boston Marathon to a citywide lockdown as police hunted for the surviving suspect to the celebratory singing of Sweet Caroline with Neil Diamond himself in an afternoon game at Fenway Park all within the span of five days. When I wrote about the resilience of Bostonians last week, I had no clue just how resilient they would prove to be.

There are so many leadership lessons to be learned from the Boston experience. The medical personnel and first responders on the day of the blast were amazing. Every victim who initially survived the explosions was saved. (Read this story by Atul Gawande for example after example of mindful leadership in Boston’s hospitals.) The coordination between local, state and Federal agencies was equally impressive. Their leaders kept everyone focused on a common goal. The public officials like Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick and Boston police commissioner Edward Davis were role models for leaders who need to keep people informed in a high stakes, rapidly changing situation.

There was a lot of mindful leadership in Boston last ...

A Boston Marathon Memory and Hope

• By Scott Eblin
• April 18, 2013
• comments

There’s little I can add to what’s already been observed about the tragedy at the Boston Marathon this week.  The horror, the heroism and the heartache will stay for a long time with everyone who experienced or witnessed it.

What I want to add to the conversation is my own memory of running the Marathon with my friend Tiffany when we were both graduate students in Boston back in 1987 and how that memory gives me hope today.

In those days, you were allowed to run in the back of the Boston pack with an unofficial number if you weren’t one of the qualified entrants.  That’s where Tiffany and I were.

At the very front of the pack was a Boston legend named Johnny Kelley.  He was the Marathon winner in 1935 and 1945.  On that Patriot’s Day morning in 1987, he was 79 years old and preparing to run his 56^th Boston Marathon.  Being the legend that he was, Kelley was given the honor of being first off the starting line in Hopkinton, Mass with a healthy head start on the world class runners who were competing for the win.

About four miles ...

3 Signs You’re Taking on Too Much

• By Scott Eblin
• April 15, 2013
• comments

NBA star Kobe Bryant blew out his Achilles tendon in a game last Friday night. In a last ditch effort to get the Lakers into the playoffs, the 34 year old, 17 year veteran logged more than 40 minutes a game in his last 10 outings. As Bill Plaschke explains in his LA Times column, while both the Lakers head coach and general manager were worried about Bryant’s health neither could keep him off the floor. Bryant calls his own shots and was determined to play no matter what. Now he’s got no choice but to be off the court for the next six to nine months.

Maybe the Lakers will make it to the playoffs without him. Maybe not. (They won the next game after his injury and Bryant’s back up scored 23 points.)

Like me, you’ve probably seen a lot of leaders who take on too much. You might even be one of them. What are the warning signs that you might be taking on so much that you’re headed towards your own version of a ruptured Achilles tendon?

With the Kobe Bryant story in mind, here are three of them:

1. You ...