8 Ways to Solve the Postal Service's Budget Problems

With the Postal Service poised to end Saturday delivery in the name of cost-cutting, The Onion has come up with a list of other ideas to address USPS's budget woes.

Unfortunately, because it's The Onion, they're not exactly serious. Unless you think any of the following proposals might actually work:

• "Looting any mail resembling a birthday card from a grandparent."
• "Offering a free largemouth bass mailbox with the purchase of a USPS Premium account."
• "Launching new 'Please, Anyone, For The Love Of God, Mail Something' series of commercials."