Government Executive - Authors - Cory Bennett

Play of the Day: Hillary Clinton testifies

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 09:37:54 -0500

After mulling over Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton's testimony for a day, the late-night show hosts all weighed in.

Jon Stewart mocked the Republicans for grandstanding and the Democrats for "ass kissery." He suggested that when Rep. Jeff Duncan, R-S.C., asked Clinton, "What does the word responsibility mean to you?" she should have just responded.

"Webster's defines responsibility as 'Go f@#$ yourself.'"

Stephen Colbert had to address the confrontation between Clinton and Sen. Ron Johnson, R-Wisc., or as he called it, "Hillary stomping on Ron's johnson."

But for today's must-see moment, fast-forward to 5:07 to see Colbert give props to the French for invading Northern Mali. Until now, Colbert said he had "always seen the French as truffle huffing surrender monkeys." But now they're using their most advanced weaponry on Islamist extremists. Fast-forward to find out what it is. Hint: it has to do with Dadaism.

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Play of the Day: The Daily Show does Israeli election ads

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:42:32 -0500

Last night on The Daily Show , Jon Stewart unearthed some terrific campaign videos from the recent Israeli elections. Apparently, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has some American friends in high places.

"Israel has its own tough guy," a campaign ad starts off. "His name is Bibi Netanyahu. Shalom, this is Chuck."

Smash cut to a befuddled Stewart. "Did not see that coming. What demographic is that targeting? Arden Zionists who haven't been to the movies in 30 years?"

Over on The Colbert Report , Stephen Colbert gave out a "Tip of the Hat" to a school district in Ohio preparing to arm its janitors and custodians ("Unlike the administrators, they are not needed for quick decisions.") and to The Atlasphere , an online dating site for Ayn Rand enthusiasts.

Today's must-see moment is when Colbert browses through some of the enticing profiles on the site. Fast-forward to 3:54 to see the types of men and women you can meet today!

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Play of the Day: Inauguration madness

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 10:35:38 -0500

Most late-night shows were bumped for Inauguration Day on Monday, but they got their chance last night to get in some jokes on everything from Malia Obama photo-bombing her parents, to the lack of hopelessness in President Obama's speech, to the first couple's stiff inaugural ball dancing.

With Fox News Channel criticizing Obama for not adequately addressing unemployment and the deficit in his speech, Stephen Colbert piled on.

"Yeah, where was the hopelessness? That's what the American public wants. Have we forgotten FDR's famous inaugural? When he proclaimed, 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and also a second Depression ...' "

On Jimmy Kimmel Live , the host pointed out Beyonce's avoiding Vice President Joe Biden's cheek-kiss attempt, and Jay Leno noted the flamboyant veep's juggling and unicycle performance during the parade.

But for today's must-see moment, fast-forward to 4:24 to see what the Obamas' first-dance could have looked like had they actually been rehearsing the past four years.

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Play of the Day: Obama is 'King Gun Snatcher the Magnificent'

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 08:49:12 -0500

King, tyrant, Constitution destroyer — President Obama was repeatedly called all of these names this week after announcing his proposed reforms on gun control.

"Tyrants don't have to fight that f*&$ing hard for Ohio," Jon Stewart said on The Daily Show . "The real debate for tyrants is how big do you want to go with the sunglasses and epaulettes?"

Jimmy Kimmel also did a special inauguration edition of "Lie Witness News," where he asks random people about events yet to take place. Check out the the guy who claimed to have loved the "tap dance routine" at Obama's swearing-in.

But for today's must-see moment, fast-forward to 2:36 to watch Stephen Colbert "support" Fox News Channel personality Steve Doocy, who wondered on Wednesday why children are only writing letters to the White House about gun control, not, say, the national debt.

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Play of the Day: ATF and its YouTube channel

Cory Bennett — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 08:18:33 -0500

Last night, The Daily Show addressed the declawed Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, which hasn't been able to have a director confirmed by Congress in six years.

"The ATF hasn't been completely deballed," Jon Stewart said. "Thanks to the First Amendment, they still do have a YouTube channel that they use to warmly encourage gun dealers to act responsibly."

Fast-forward to 3:50 to see the humorously meek directives offered on that YouTube channel.

But today's must-see moment is Conan O'Brien's video blog entry, created to make his show more "accessible to teens." "There's a lot of stuff going on in the world that needs to be commented on," O'Brien said, which clearly calls for pictures of "animals with emotions." At :41, see a baboon react to the recent news about Al Roker's White House visit. There's more great reactions (bears, penguins, Tommy Lee Jones!) dabbled throughout.

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Play of the Day: How to protect yourself from the government

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 09:09:45 -0500

Most of the late-night monologues were light on political humor last night, but Stephen Colbert decided to devote an entire segment to a "rational" conversation on gun control, which he called "Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-o-Rama."

Colbert called out CNN talkshow host Piers Morgan for not answering his guests important questions, like "How many chimpanzees can dance on the head of a pin?"

Over on the Daily Show , Jon Stewart weighed in on the conversation about the gender and race of Obama's new cabinet appointees. He examined the photo circulating showing Obama running a meeting with only "white male" advisers.

"Computer. Enhance," he said, pointing out the clearly visible African-American in the picture.

But for today's must-see moment, fast-forward to 3:02 to see Internet sensation James Yeager's reaction — "in measured tones" as Colbert said — to the administration's upcoming gun control suggestions. Then skip to 4:32 to see his suggestions for what to do when the government comes for your guns.

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Play of the Day: Welcome to Citadel, Idaho

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 11:13:32 -0500

While Jon Stewart weighed in on the gun-control debate on Tuesday night, Stephen Colbert addressed it last night by introducing his viewers to Citadel, a "walled and armed community with up to 7,000 families living on about 3,000 acres in the moutains of Idaho, not to be confused with the armed community of 1.5 million people in the moutains of Idaho called ... Idaho."

Residents of Citadel will not have to recycle and must pass a variety of firearms proficiency tests annually.

Jimmy Fallon also lampooned President Obama for offering "special perks" to those who donate at least $1 million to the upcoming inauguration. You know what else gets you perks, Fallon said, "keeping that $1 million."

For today's must-see moment, fast forward to 2:40 to see Colbert explain the Citadel's resident application questionnaire.

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Play of the Day: Muskets for all!

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 08:51:32 -0500

Jon Stewart weighed in on the gun control debate last night — it was the only issue he addressed during his half-hour show. The other late-night hosts mostly stayed away from politics. David Letterman did, however, uncover the main driver behind the nation's debt. Fast-forward to 2:15 to see what it is.

For today's must-see moment, fast-forward to 3:11 to see Stewart explain the different types of muskets that he'd be happy to let all Americans have.

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Play of the Day: Fixing the debt ceiling with... a coin?

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 09:35:17 -0500

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert both returned from their extended breaks last night shocked at the abundance of missed late-night humor opportunities over the past three weeks. Stewart ranted while Colbert lamented the disincentivizing tax hikes on rich people like him.

Jimmy Fallon brought back his recurring send-up of the nightly news — Night News Now — to give viewers the latest on what Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., would look like if his face was flipped upside down.

For today's must-see moment, fast forward to 4:00 to see the infomercial the U.S. government produced to explain its rationale behind minting a $1 trillion coin.

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Play of the Day: New Congress, same dysfunction

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 08:56:13 -0500

The late-night shows welcomed the 113th Congress to a new round of jokes last night. Jimmy Fallon praised the swearing in of a record 20 female senators. They, he said, "look forward to proving they can accomplish just as little as male senators."

Both David Letterman and Jay Leno poked fun at New Jersey Republican Gov. Chris Christie for his outsized anger at Congress over delays in a Superstorm Sandy relief funding bill. Leno ran some "footage" of Christie threatening House Speaker John Boehner with "Jersey style" tactics.

For today's must-see moment, fast forward to 4:01 to see Leno mock National Journal 's piece, " Biden May Be the Most Influential Vice President Ever ."

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Play of the Day: The fiscal cliff gets its due

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 09:26:51 -0500

The late-night shows were light on the political humor as people slowly trickle back to work. But David Letterman was around to admit his thorough lack of knowledge of what the fiscal cliff even is.

For today's must-see moment, fast forward to 1:53 to see President Obama "compare" himself to Abraham Lincoln on Meet the Press .

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Nats mascot Teddy Roosevelt vindicated after 7-year drought

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 15:58:00 -0400

The Washington Nationals may have clinched their first division title on Monday night, but the real victory everyone in the capital city has been waiting for happened on Wednesday. After seven years and more than 500 victory-less races, the bumbling Teddy Roosevelt character won the Nationals famous fourth-inning presidents' race during the team’s last regular season game with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Roosevelt’s character -- which sports small reading specs and a giant half-crescent mustache on his cartoonishly large head and bulging chin -- crossed the finish line with a little help. After coming out of the gate with his usual lagging pace, a small mascot resembling the Phillie Phanatic emerged and toppled the three other racers: Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington.

Dressed in a red Under Armour headband and Usain Bolt-like gold shoes, Roosevelt ambled across the finish line for the win. Chants of "Teddy, Teddy," erupted as the mascot ripped off his shirt to reveal a red shirt reading "Natitude."

Roosevelt’s racing plight had come into focus this week. The Wall Street Journal ran a 1000-word piece over the weekend wondering if there was a widespread conspiracy keeping the former president from victory. Then on Monday, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., went to the stadium and gave the mascot a pep talk.

"You are a victim of the vast left-wing conspiracy by the commie pinkos in this town," McCain said in his speech, which was played before Monday’s Nationals game against the Phillies. “But you can overcome that. You’re the Rough Rider at San Juan Hill, you’re the man in the arena.”

Minutes after Roosevelt secured the win, McCain Tweeted, "#Teddy won! #Teddy won! We’ve defeated the massive left wing conspiracy!" and #Teddyin2012 became a trending hashtag. What other event would inspire Underarmour to Tweet Teddy Roosevelt quotes?

Word is there was rare cheering in the Washington Post newsroom. And after years, the blog Let Teddy Win finally has vindication.

"Relief, excitement,” Scott Ableman, the 48-year-old marketing executive behind the blog told the Washington Post. "When the Phillie Phanatic showed up, I knew he was gonna win. There was no way they would let the Phillie Phanatic take out Teddy Roosevelt."

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Progressive Caucus proposes budget 'deal for all'

Cory Bennett, National Journal — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:25:00 -0400

"We're reframing the debate," said Caucus Co-Chair Rep. Keith Ellison, D-Minn., emphasizing that the House should have a wider range of choices than Rep. Paul Ryan's, R-Wis., budget and the Simpson-Bowles economic suggestions.

Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., called the debate between the Ryan budget and Simpson-Bowles suggestion a "false choice." He praised the modest defense cuts proffered by Simpson-Bowles, but objected to the plan's treatment of middle-class entitlement programs, worrying about an increase in cost-sharing for medicare recipients.

"This nation is built on the middle class," said Rep. Charlie Rangel, D-N.Y. "If we don't have them active, they can't buy, if they can't buy, people can't sell to them. If people can't sell to them they can't hire and that's what employment is all about."

Keeping the middle class active means protecting social welfare programs, said Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D-Calif.

"No one makes it alone," Woolsey said. "I didn't want to take public assistance, but I did it because I had to. My husband was mentally ill, wouldn't get help, spent all our money and walked out on us."

Over four decades later, "The nation's investment in my family has paid for itself many times over, I can assure you."

Just the day before, a coalition of six liberal groups, including the AFL-CIO and the SEIU, launched their new economic plan to counter Ryan's "Path to Prosperity" plan. Those groups will spend the recess pushing the "Prosperity Economics" message, which focuses on major public investment, education and securing collective bargaining as the way to boost job growth.]]>